A couple of days ago, I got a T-shirt from friends, suggesting one way of looking at the ultramarathon psychological process. Although I do not agree with the description of most of the process as "suffering", it made me think of other processes you go through while preparing towards a challenge.

In many aspects of life, running not excluded, we know this feeling of excitement when we take upon us a new challenge. The dictionary defines excitement as "a feeling of great enthusiasm and eagerness", which is very true. And then comes doubt... can I do this? what happens if I fail? can I pay the toll it takes to get there?... As for me, I simply push it away. My routine is "if it (doubt) does not help, why bother worrying?". Yet, one should not ignore the fact that without second questioning some decisions we make, we might have taken the wrong path. So let's talk about doubt.

Doubt... "a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction". Have to admit, I love this phase, the ambiguity, the unknown, solving the puzzles in the fog. It always intrigued me. Once doubt starts irritating the mind, it is accompanied with confusion. this is a very uncomfortable place to be, in particular when we talk about guys like me that are pragmatic (or at least try to be). The benefit of it, is this moment when the puzzle is solved, and the pieces suddenly start to make sense, have some logic order, and the road becomes clear. Having said that, it does not clear the fear away.

What Is Fear? It is a natural, powerful, and primitive human emotion. It involves a universal biochemical response as well as a high individual emotional response. Fear alerts us to the presence of danger or the threat of harm, whether that danger is physical or psychological. Sometimes fear stems from real threats, but it can also originate from imagined dangers. my fears as related to the current challenge is coping with the enormous sand parts of the race. It sounds funny coming from one living in Israel, with its Mediterranean sandy beaches, and the desert in the south. But racing through this can be a very different story.

I decided to make this fear my challenge. And at once, fear was replaced by determination. This is not to say "I am not afraid", rather acknowledging that fear is her, and there is no way around it. So if there is no way around it, the best way is facing it and go /run /walk /crawl through it. So.. gaiters up, running poles down, focus, pace slowly, and here we go!

So here I go again...

You're invited to follow the race. And as you do so, pay your attention to these two great NGO's:

• Donations to Yadid Lachinuch https://www.yadidla.org.il/? to Bank HaPoalim acc. 563317 branch 640C
• For Perthes Israel https://www.perthesisrael.com. Tali Ben-Dror Meirav Bar-el  050-2340003 /052-8582000

People often ask "why?"

Honestly there is no simple answer.

That reminds me of a post from early July 2019, Just before the 2019 GobiMarch.

I believe part of my own why is well explained here: Simple, The journey of a child…

We lived at the end of town, up on Mt Carmel, where the shepherds used to come with their sheep and goat herds to the hills by our neighborhood. I remember long days of strolling on these hills, trying to figure out the animals visiting at night by their tracks. Watching the seasons changing the colors, the smells, the texture of the soil under my feet. Walking these trails by our home and across Israel are my best early childhood memories.

This post is about what really matters, the journey. A journey of a child, as old as almost 55. A child who was lucky to have parents who never said you can’t. Who had the right orthopedist telling him that he will. Will be able to walk and run like everyone else. Just keep the discipline and use his left leg the way he is asked to… This same discipline is probably also behind the ~5,500 km ran and ~80,000 m climbed while training toward this race.

It all started about 10 years ago when I started running on a regular basis a few times a week. I always loved it when I was running, but never got serious into doing it. So much been earned and learned along the many hours and miles on the way. So many cliché are said about long distance running, surprisingly, the more and longer you run you find out most of them are true. On the Gobimarch website it says “we refer to the 4 Deserts Ultramarathon Series as a series of self-supported rough-country endurance footraces which can be completed by running or walking.” My translation to this was more time out there, a new opportunity to explore my boundaries, and a new opportunity to win the inner competition. And it is also about comradeship of runners… I have this memory from my first half marathon, when I saw the winners back on the 19-20th kilometer, cheering for the runners. People like myself who took over 2 hrs to finish, and were simply happy to complete the run. That spirit is what I love in this sport, the brotherhood of runners, the mutual support, the appreciation of the personal effort – no matter if you are the winner, or the last person to cross the finish line (especially me being closer the second one… :-)).

So, as already said, when at the end of July 2019, I will be standing at the starting line of the GobiMarch, a 250-km race in Mongolia, I will prove myself that everything is possible, and this is exactly what thousands of Yadid Lachinuch volunteers do. This is also my message to Perthes kids and their families. Join me and support Yadid Lachinuch the the Perthes Kids Foundation, and enable us reaching more kids, show them that anything is possible, in tolerance and the love of man. And to support each of this kids in his own journey. It is that simple…

Simple (Raymond Carver)

A break in the clouds.

The blue outline of the mountains.

Dark yellow of the fields.

Black river.

What am I doing here, lonely and filled with remorse?

I go on casually eating from the bowl of raspberries.

If I were dead, I remind myself, I wouldn’t be eating them. It’s not so simple.

It is that simple.