Hi all-

No blog yesterday, I know, because I didn't get in until nighttime, at which point I collapsed in my tent! So, yesterday was one of the most interesting racing days I've ever had, some of the highest highs and lowest lows I've ever experienced. I'll just share to the best of my ability in the brief blog that follows what I experienced, for whatever it's worth.

As you probably know, it was the long stage - at this point I'm still not sure exactly how far it was, but somewhere in the 40-45 mile range. The top 20 ranked people started at 10:30am, everyone else started 3 hours earlier at 7:30am. Off the starting line it was immediately clear (to me) that I would not be able to defend third place against Oliver unless he totally fell apart - he was cruising, and in fact went on to win the stage and deservedly so, he is an amazing athlete. I rapidly found myself alone running through the salt flats in the first 15k section in 4th place. Through my mind were running many thoughts. One moment I was intensely disappointed I was going to lose my grasp on a podium finish. The next moment I was elated I was doing so well in the race. I reflected on what it meant to be in 3rd place, vs 4th place, vs 55th place - did it really matter? Does it truly make sense to judge myself, my success, my worth, in comparison to others? It just so happened that in this race, on these days, I'm doing this well compared to others, but who is to say that a bigger group of elite runners might not have entered the race, for example? But back and forth in my mind I struggled, elation and disappointment, elation and disappointment, and in the heat and barren salt flats with such fatigue, the mind goes in circles and one is intensely effected by emotions. It was a mental and emotional struggle, one without an answer, all while I tried to keep running. And then, somehow, I let it go, and I just started running my own race. I just gave everything of myself, and knew that was enough. It took 4 days of running marathons through the most heinous conditions and heat of the Atacama desert to finally break myself down. At that moment, I was giving every bit of my being to running, every last part of myself. I was giving it everything I had, and I got out of my own way. THAT is the true benefit of the nature of competition and of races like this, I think, creating the context for this type experience. And then I got very, very present. Tears began to run down my cheeks, and I started crying, bawling in fact. I had to start walking as I experienced that moment with the greatest joy - I was SO HAPPY TO BE ALIVE and in the desert, part of the desert, and I just walked along, alone, in the salt flats, crying and in the moment, experiencing the mountains and landscape around me.

I haven't done that experience justice in the words above, and I hesitate to try to explain any meaning behind it, but I wanted to share because it was profound.

Then, unfortunately, began my descent into misery. I got behind on my hydration, and entered a very dark place for the majority of the day. It is difficult to explain this place if you haven't been there, but I was barely walking by the time I crossed the finish line late at night, and it was all I could do to keep walking, it was probably the most difficult race experience I've ever had. It was too bad because the scenery, overall, was INCREDIBLE, but I was in my own little world and barely able to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Everyone I saw along the way was so encouraging, and it was wonderful to see everyone out on the course. It's difficult to overstate the low places one can visit in an event like this when things go wrong, and they went wrong in a big way (my own fault entirely - I got behind on hydration and, frankly, wasn't sufficiently trained). That said, and my above comments nothwithstanding, I finished 5th in the stage yesterday, and have captured 4th overall (assuming nothing drastic happens in the short finish run tomorrow) - so I'm pretty happy! Robert, John, and Oliver deserve the podium tomorrow - they are tremendous athletes and I'm so thankful for them (and every other competitor, as well) for pushing me, encouraging me, and sharing this tremendous experience this week.

Thanks, again, for everyone's emails - they have truly kept me going all week and I look forward to catching up with each and every one of you individually after the race. I'll see you all soon!

With love,
Sean

Hi all-

Well, today was pretty brutal. Just under seven hours, much of it in sweltering salt flats that varied from sharp jagged dry salt (some of which would crush under pressure, some of which wouldn't) to knee-deep wet salt holes that would try to take your shoes. Pretty tough on the feet, as you might imagine. I would not recommend to anyone to do what we did today, nor would I care to do it again.

Mentally, we are almost done - tomorrow is the 'last' day. Granted it's 40 miles, but we've got 4 days under our belts so we're almost there. Friday we have off (those of us who are finished with the stage - you actually have two hours to finish it). Then saturday is a 'quick' 10k to the finish line.

Ollie slipped by me after the last checkpoint on a road run for 3rd place on the day, taking back a little under 2 minutes, which leaves me 25 minutes up on him for 3rd overall going into the long stage. Certainly better than being 25 minutes down! But not a huge buffer for such a long day when anything can happen. He and I spent most of the first section together chatting, it reminded me of adventure racing - when you have teammates around all the time, it's a different experience. As I've mentioned, much of the time in this type of race is spent alone.

I thought a LOT about everyone back home, especially everyone who has emailed me (including a couple people I have no idea who you are by your email address). I collapse in my tent after each day's run, start taking recovery drinks, and read my emails lying there. I don't think you have any idea how much it means to me to have all of you thinking about me and writing to me, in fact it would be hard to imagine this experience without those emails, now.

Well, I'm off to the medical tent to have a few blisters taken care of. THANK YOU for all your support - I'll be thinking of all of you tomorrow through the long stage, and hope to post a strong result!

With love,
Sean

Hi all-

3rd stage is done. While we are only at the halfway mark in terms of mileage, we are beyond the psyclogical halfway point of the race - only two longs days left (yes, one of them is very long), but we have three under our belts. I managed to finish third again today, but only by about 3 1/2 minutes (yesterday was by about four minutes). I will tell you, finishing with only a several minute buffer for a top-3 finish over 6 hours of racing is not the most comfortable thing. I actually have no idea just how much Oliver (in 4th) is gunning for a top-3 finish, but I certainly want it. Interestingly (and I hope he doesn't read this until after the race lest he get a glimpse of my psychological state!), Oliver is quite a bit faster than me on any terrain on which we can run (running on a bunch of this stuff is nearly impossible). Where I make up my time is in very, very short transitions (in checkpoints) and persistence on the course - I never, ever stop to do anything.

Think about it - there are about 18 checkpoints in the race. If you stay two minutes versus one minute at each, that's an additional 18 minutes on your total time. If you stay 5 minutes at each...I can't actually do the math right now out here in the desert, but you've added something like an hour and a half to your time.

It is a huge psychological battle for me knowing he is faster and can move faster than me whenever he wants to, but staying persistent and confident enough to hold on to my spot. There are definitely times I have trouble keeping up with him on the course, or holding a lead over him. But I remind myself that, in fact, I've beaten him every stage and hold about a 25 minute lead over him - I just need to keep doing what I'm doing, and hope my body holds up.

My feet are ok, but developing some blisters. And my right arch is hurting, I don't know what that is about but hope it doesn't develop into a problem.

There is a line for the blog, now, so I must go! That you everyone for your emails - they are SO helpful, you have no idea, I think of them when I'm on the course and always look forward to more when I get into camp.

More tomorrow (it's going to be a very difficult stage tomorrow).

Sean

Hi all-

Thanks for the continued support and emails! I look forward to them every day when I come into camp.

General consensus amongst folks was that today was hard. It was also incredibly beautiful - running through slot canyons in the morning (including a section running down a river, in the river), then a big climb up to a ridge overlooking incredible landscape, then down a gigantic sand dune. The last bit was more of an unpleasant slog across an endless flat landscape. There was a single tree you could see on the horizon (that you eventually passed) and you could see it for an hour, it just never got closer. Almost everyone, definitely the top finishers, all are a bit exhausted, particularly the legs (duh), and everyone's shoulders are very sore (running with a pack so much takes its toll), everyone is just trying to figure out how to recover so we can do this again tomorrow, and the next day, then a double marathon the following day. We aren't even halfway done! A sobering thought. There is a great sense of comeraderie in facing this challenge together, and a healthy competitive spirit at the same time.

Once again I spent a lot of the day running and walking alone. There is something very primal and basic in the human spirit, I think, in traveling and exploring on foot. Most human beings are probably smart enough to not do it in this particular manner, but nevertheless, the event taps that basic human nature in me. I realized that I often walk cities as well, sometimes almost all night, just walking. I did that several nights in Venice this past Christmas time, I was there alone and the city was almost empty, and I would just walk for hours, this historic city entirely to myself, and then I'd realize it was almost dawn before I went back to the hotel for a couple hours sleep.

As for me, my feet are doing quite well under the circumstances. A couple tiny blisters, and they are a little sore, but given that today we first got our shoes, socks, and feet soaking wet, then went through the sand, then over this knobly terrain for several hours, they are in great shape. Now just eating, stretching, trying to get ready for tomorrow.

It's a bit hard to not keep thinking about the fact that I'm in third place. I'm really trying to just run my own race, but each day, now, I've added a bit to my lead over 4th (although Oliver in 4th place finished only a few minutes behind me today). Unless Robert or John has a big mis-step (in first and second place), I won't catch them (I do spend a good part of the day with each of them on the trail - usually in the first section, then watching them pull away from me the rest of the day). So my strategy now is "defend and extend." That is, defend 3rd place, and extend it little by little. But with two marathons and a double marathon left, there is no telling what will happen. In this race, I think, it's about (1) consistency and (2) not having a bad day on any of the days. So, I'm trying to do just that - be consistent, and not have a bad day. If I do that, the outcome is out of my hands, and whatever is meant to happen, will happen!

Now it's back to my tent for a little shoe repair and getting organized. The wind has picked up so it might be another cold night (the first night was freezing, -10 C, barely slept; last night was much warmer).

Thanks again for everyone's support, I think of all of you during the day!

Until tomorrow,

Sean

First off

(And when I say blog numero uno, I mean it, this is my first blog ever).

Hello friends, family, co-workers, and anyone else reading! I had an uneventful series of flights down (just how I like them), spent a relaxing afternoon walking around Santiago, and am now in San Pedro de Atacama at the hotel. Some final prep to go before check-in tomorrow morning.

Chile, so far, is wonderful. When I stepped out of the bus this morning in Santiago, I was reminded of the feelings of freedom, discovery, and adventure that accompany my travels. To step off an airplane halfway around the globe, explore, and be open to another culture, to another way of life, to put my own conceptions and judgements aside to experience another culture, it helps me learn better who I am.

I am full of gratitude for this opportunity to travel here, to experience Chile, to see the desert in a way that few do, for having the health to be able to do this, and for the growth that this experience will foster in me.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me along the way, challenged me to share why I do things like this, and to those who are thinking about me this week.

I will try to blog daily!

Sean